Sermon: Living with Disappointment

 

Bumps Are What You Climb On:

“Living With Disappointment”

Jeremiah 10:17-21

Coming Destruction

¹⁷ Gather up your belongings to leave the land,
    you who live under siege.
¹⁸ For this is what the Lord says:
    “At this time I will hurl out
    those who live in this land;
I will bring distress on them
    so that they may be captured.”

¹⁹ Woe to me because of my injury!
    My wound is incurable!
Yet I said to myself,
    “This is my sickness, and I must endure it.”
²⁰ My tent is destroyed;
    all its ropes are snapped.
My children are gone from me and are no more;
    no one is left now to pitch my tent
    or to set up my shelter.
²¹ The shepherds are senseless
    and do not inquire of the Lord;
so they do not prosper
    and all their flock is scattered.

 

There once was a fella named Jeremiah. He was no bullfrog, but he was a good friend of mine! 

 

The Israelites had gone through a series of kings, some really good – like Solomon, Hezekiah, and Josiah – and some really bad – like Rehoboam, Manasseh, and Amon. In 721 BC, the northern kingdom of Israel fell to the Assyrians. The southern kingdom of Judah pulled itself together for a while, but eventually it fell to the Babylonian empire in 586 BC. The walls of Jerusalem were breached. The Temple was destroyed. And the city walls crumbled. 

 

Before Judah’s ultimate fall, God raised a prophet named Jeremiah. If ever there were a man who experienced disappointments and tragedy, it was Jeremiah. He was called to serve God at this most difficult time in history. And he was given a difficult message to proclaim, for God told him to warn the nation that judgment was coming, and they had better repent. 

 

Most of what we know about Jeremiah comes from the book of the Bible that bears his name. He was born to a priestly family about three miles from Jerusalem. He was called as a prophet in the thirteenth year of the reign of King Josiah in the southern kingdom of Judah. Though Jeremiah’s birth date isn’t exactly clear, it’s evident he received God’s call at a young age, probably as a teenager. 

 

Jeremiah served the Lord faithfully for forty years. He never compromised in his message or his loyalty. His family abandoned him, even plotted to kill him, and ultimately the entire nation turned against him. Over the years, he was whipped and put in the stocks, attacked by a mob, threatened by the king, and ridiculed. Some of Zedekiah’s princes had Jeremiah arrested, beaten, accused of treason, thrown in jail, and even tossed into a deep, empty well. (Sound anything like last week’s sermon?!) 

 

Perhaps worst of all, Jeremiah was forced to live life alone. He was not allowed to marry, and he was alone with the knowledge of the horrors coming for Judah.

 

His early messages focused on condemning false worship and social injustice, with calls to repentance. He proclaimed a coming foe, and he urged the Israelites to focus on their inward, personal relationships with God rather than external religious and idolatrous practice.

 

His later messages included dramatic object lessons. For example, when delegations from surrounding nations came to Judah asking the nation to join a rebellion against Babylon, Jeremiah put a yoke, a wooden harness around his neck, and went about urging the nations to submit to the yoke of Babylon.

 

Jeremiah lived to see his beloved nation overrun by the enemy, and his beloved city and temple completely destroyed. If ever a man had a broken heart, it was Jeremiah. No wonder he was known as the Weeping Prophet. While the book with his name holds his prophecies and bears witness to his burden, his book of Lamentations holds his tear stains. He was disappointed in the people of Israel, and at times he was disappointed in God. But he always remained faithful, knowing God had a perfect plan. 

 

***

 

Well, good morning, friends. Nothing like a depressing story to start off the sermon this morning. But I promise it’s going to get better! Welcome back to our sermon series, “The Bumps are What We Climb On.” Steven explained to us two weeks ago that these bumps are the hard places in life that eventually become the places where we stand. As we go through difficult seasons, we climb up on these bumps, which become the foundations for us moving forward. We learn how to weather the seasons; we learn to lean into Jesus for the strength to withstand. 

 

This week’s focus, or this week’s bump, is “Living with Disappointments.” Disappointment is a universally horrible feeling we experience when reality doesn’t match expectations. Have any of you ever been disappointed?

 

Perhaps one time or another, you’ve thought one of these things: 

 

• God, I always expected that I would be able to have kids. Isn't that something you want for me? Isn't that a good desire you placed in my heart? Why is this so hard? And to rub it in, we get these people asking ridiculously hurtful questions like, "Why haven’t you had kids yet? You aren’t getting any younger!” This isn't what I expected.
  
  
• God, I want to have a great marriage and yet my wife is so passive. It's like she doesn't even care. She never engages me. She's off in her own world, always on her cell phone. I expected to have a better marriage than this. Don't you want me to have a good marriage? This isn't what I expected.
  
  
• God, I always expected that by the time I was 30, I'd have the perfect job and the perfect mate. Well, I'm in a job I hate, and I have no prospects for marriage. I'm struggling with disappointment with how my life is turning out. This isn't what I expected.
  
  
• God, I always expected to live a healthy life. I assumed I'd have normal health struggles, but I never expected it would be this dominating and this debilitating. My body has let me down. Don't you want me to be healthy? This is not what I expected.
  
  
• God, when I was younger, I wanted to do great things for you. I had visions of being a missionary and traveling the world, and now I'm just a dad stuck in a suburban neighborhood endlessly changing diapers, cooking, and driving my kids around. This is not what I expected.

 

You know what I'm talking about. Woe is me! Why is my life this way? Why won't God answer my prayer? Why won't God intercede in this situation? Why won't God change this other person's heart? 

 

So, what is the cure for disappointment? 

 

Well, let’s venture back to that bullfrog…errr, weeping prophet, Jeremiah. What truths did he teach us? 

The first truth he taught us is this: expect disappointments. 

 

Henri Nouwen wrote:

 

Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood swings: from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos. A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly, we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us, rather than being created by us.

 

Thus, it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift, we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain God’s beloved children.

And that’s what Henri Nouwen and Jeremiah teach us. Despite the disappointments, Jeremiah never forgot WHOSE he was. He rose above the broken dreams to live in victory. 

Imagine serving God so faithfully for a lifetime, and in the end, seeing everything fall apart. Jeremiah could have died a bitter and broken man, but he didn’t. In the strength of the Lord, he was able to face his disappointments and accept them, knowing he was faithful to his calling and knowing God loved him. 

Some people have the idea that faithful Christians can escape disappointments, but that’s is simply not true. God does not guarantee that we will never have a broken heart. God does not promise to take away our tears this side of heaven. What He does promise us is that He will be present with us on the peaks and in the valleys! Just as with Jeremiah, God will not leave us alone, for we are His beloved children. 

 

Which leads us to a second truth the prophet Jeremiah taught us: our disappointments are in the hands of God.

 

There were many times when Jeremiah thought he had been forsaken by God. Why wasn't God answering his prayers? Why wasn't the Word he was preaching bearing fruit and changing the nation? Was it really worth it all, staying there and ministering to such hard-hearted people? (I ask myself this all the time!) 

 

The first lie the enemy whispers to us when disappointment comes is… God has failed. 

 

What we need to hear is… God is in control. We need to hear that life’s mishaps and tragedies are not a reason to bail out. We need to hear it’s not over until He says so. 

 

Corrie ten Boom used to say, “When the train goes through a tunnel, and the world gets dark, do you jump out? Of course not! You sit still and trust the engineer to get you through.” 

 

It takes faith to believe that and rest upon it. But know in the deepest corners of your heart that this is true - God is still on the throne, and He is going to accomplish His wonderful purposes in our lives, if we will let Him. If we fight circumstances and become bitter, then God cannot accomplish in us and through us all that He has in mind. If we yield and trust Him to do what is best, then all things will work together for good.

 

Jeremiah reminds us that God said, “I am the Lord, the God of every person on the earth. Nothing is impossible for me.” 

 

The way to walk through your times of discouragement? Go back and read the story of God. Remember He promised to never leave us, nor forsake us. Remember nothing is impossible for Him. Read it again and again. Be reminded that you aren’t the first person to weep. Remember the weeping prophet. 

 

Once we have learned to expect the disappointments, and believe nothing is impossible for God, we can know this third truth: yield to God's will and let Him heal our broken hearts and fulfill His desires.

 

I read somewhere there is a basic law in this universe that says, "Fight the will of God, and it will break you; accept the will of God and it will make you." I’ve been there. Many of you have heard this story before… 

 

Like Jeremiah, I had felt the call to ministry pretty early in life. It was clear. But somewhere along the way, I thought I knew better than God. My plans were better than His. In 2001, I graduated from Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina with a Political Science degree. I had spent four years studying politics and loving state government. I worked for the Majority Leader of the North Carolina House of Representatives, writing press releases, strategizing with the party, and I loved it. I applied to law schools my senior year, and the lawyers in my family had all gone to Wake Forest…  And me? I got wait listed. 

 

Instead of wallowing, I decided to follow that call I once had, and spent the next year doing mission work in Honduras and Mexico. Now, one would think this would have been enough to re-route my plans and align my will with God’s will. Instead, I applied to graduate schools to study political science. For seven miserable days, I was a student at the University of Georgia, until finally one night, I fell to my knees in my brokenness.  

 

Unlike me, Jeremiah did not fight God. As Steven read earlier, there were times when he questioned God's will, when he thought God was crazy, when he cried out, WOE IS ME!!! But Jeremiah didn’t try to get his own way. Instead, he yielded to the will of God and let God work out His perfect plan.

 

What was the result? Well, the nation was taken captive and carried to Babylon. And Jeremiah was kidnapped and taken to Egypt by some fanatics. And there, according to tradition, he was stoned to death for preaching the truth. But but but! What looked like a failure to the world was not a failure to our God, who judges righteously on the basis of what is eternal.

 

What did God accomplish in this tragic history? 

 

For one thing, God made a man who was very much like the Lord Jesus Christ. When Jesus was here on earth, He asked His disciples what people were saying about Him; and one of the answers was, "You are the prophet, Jeremiah." 

 

Jeremiah suffered just as the Suffering Servant Jesus did. The very disappointments of life were the tools that carved Jeremiah and polished him and made him like Jesus Christ.

 

Isn't that what disappointments are all about? In Romans chapter 8, verse 29, we see God is working all things together for good, and part of that good is that we might be conformed to the image of His Son - made more like the Lord Jesus Christ. 

 

Max Lucado would say it this way: “God loves you just the way you are, but he refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus.” 

 

So, if you and I are suffering, perhaps God is polishing us and making us like His own Son. Those are not easy words to hear. No one wants to suffer, but I’d love to be polished and sparkle for everyone, for as the Apostle Paul said in Romans chapter 5, verses 3 & 4, “We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope.”

 

Just as God builds character in the disappointments of life, He also gives us a witness. In the midst of his disappointments, Jeremiah bore witness to the Lord and gave His message to the people. By his preaching and his living, Jeremiah pointed others to God. Disappointments are not only opportunities for maturity, they are also opportunities for ministry. Perhaps that is why we have the writings of Jeremiah for our own learning and living – to inspire us to be faithful to God. 

 

Before we began this sermon, if I had asked any of you today to say one thing about Jeremiah, other than singing the bull frog song, I would be willing to bet over half of you would have immediately quoted this verse:

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

 

Friends, this is the legacy of Jeremiah. Through disappointment, he inspired generations to quote these words of God, to stand firm on the foundation of Jeremiah 29:11, to know without a doubt that God is God and He is faithful. In the midst of his disappointments, in the midst of seeing his beloved city destroyed, Jeremiah found hope in the promises of God. In the midst of our disappointments, may our words, too, be filled with hope and thanksgiving for the Lord our God. For He is with us in the present, He is with us in the future, and He is with us always. 

 

Let us pray: 

 

 

O Good and Gracious God,

All too often, we find ourselves struggling with disappointment.

We focus inward instead of focusing on who You are and whose we are. 
Turn our gaze toward You and enable to us to see You working in the midst of the disappointments. Show us Your plans and remind us Your words are faithful and true. Wipe away our tears of weeping and bring to our joy in the morning.

Amen, and amen.

Photini: The Mother of Evangelists

 

Good morning, Friends! If you’re looking at your bulletin, you may be wondering, “Where’s my sermon quiz? And you’re not Dr. Steven Bell!” You’re right. Steven came down with COVID on Friday afternoon. And as luck would have it, I was leading a women’s retreat on Saturday. So instead of continuing our sermon series on “The Bumps Are What You Climb On”, I am going to pivot on this bump and give you my lesson from yesterday!

 

One thing I try to do every time I preach is give you a story. But have you ever wondered why? First, I love a good story and I love telling a good story. But more than that, I love weaving together a narrative utilizing what I have discovered through historical research, cultural practices of the Middle East, and the Bible. 

 

My topic yesterday was based on a book I recently read about Jesus’ encounters with women – what these women learned from Jesus, and what Jesus learned from these women. While it’d be natural for me to talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus, on this Mother’s Day, I’m going to tell you about one of my other favorite women of the Bible. Her name is Photini. You’ve heard of her, right? Photini, the Mother of Evangelists? 

 

Listen to her story. See if you recognize this great woman: 

 

The walk to the well offers a welcome break from the daily routine. But it always brings sadness, too, no matter what time of day it is. Sometimes I go in the morning, when it’s cooler, like most others in town. When I do, I'm always passed by countless young women, who greet me respectfully. If I had been blessed by God with daughters, I would have sent them to make this trip, instead of me. I remember how much I enjoyed the trips to the well when I was a girl, chatting and catching up while we patiently waited to draw our water. Now, when I find myself at the well surrounded by young people, they’re always polite -- but I’m never included in their conversations. 

 

If I find myself instead among older women, they never know what to say to me. Even asking me how I am must seem like a chore to them. Their conversations involve their husbands. I have nothing of the sort to share. I’m sure they wish I wasn't there, so they could talk about their joys without guilt. When I can, I go to draw water at a less busy time. It’s quiet, and I can think about God and matters of importance. Of course, this very act of walking alone brings my mind back to focus on myself, my own tragic life story. Why is it women like me are defined by the husbands she has lost or the children she never had?

 

Becoming lost in one's thoughts is dangerous. I didn't notice the stranger sitting at the well until I was very close - not that I could outrun him if he wished to do me harm. His clothing indicated he was a Jew. With so many Jews living in Galilee, it’s increasingly common for them to pass through Samaria. They couldn't help but stop for water on their way. 

 

Perhaps he came here at precisely this time to avoid encountering people like me. Such is their disdain for us Samaritans! WE have preserved the Torah of Moses and the covenant with God MORE faithfully than they have, yet they insist it is the other way around. They claim Jacob as THEIR ancestor, just as we do. They probably think this well is as much theirs as it is ours, even though we live here, preserving the land of Jacob and worshipping the God of Israel in as much unity and with as much fidelity as possible. Today, when they pass through our land, they often harass us.

 

Getting closer, I see he has no vessel with which to draw water. Is he a fool who set out unprepared? Or was he unfortunate enough to have his things stolen or broken on his journey? I should be grateful that Jews refuse to use the vessels and utensils of Samaritans. 

 

As I reach the well, I get a better look at the man’s face. He doesn't look sinister, although you never can tell. He just looks tired, and possibly lost in thought. It’s a face that I would have considered kind if he were a Samaritan. I will try to ignore him and go about my business.

 

"Give me a drink."

 

I turn around, wondering if I had missed someone else coming along the road behind me from town. But no, it was the Jewish stranger who had said it.

 

“How can you, being a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan, for a drink?” I asked him. The different ways the Jews understood the Torah, the requirements of the covenant and worship -- it had always fascinated me. Maybe this man had studied the Torah and had realized that we, the northern tribes, the majority of Israel, had gotten it right all along?

 

“If you knew what God gives, and if you knew who you're talking to, you would have asked me, and I would have offered you flowing water."

 

Maybe I was dealing with a dangerous lunatic after all. Who does he think he is, and what on earth is he talking about? I pointed out to him that he doesn't even have a vessel to draw water from the well. He replied by speaking of water that eliminates thirst permanently. Is he a magician? A miracle-worker? Maybe he was mocking me, offering me something that doesn't exist, thinking Samaritans are stupid, and a woman all the more so. Or maybe I ought to have worried that he would try to give me poison, hoping to kill a Samaritan on his way through our land, thinking he could trick some foolish people among us into trusting him, and then laughing at us after getting us to inflict harm on ourselves? Yet something about the way he spoke made me think that wasn't where this was going with these words. 

 

I play along, "I will happily have some of your water, if that will mean that I don't need to keep coming back to this well." 

 

"Go call your husband and come back," he said.

 

I sighed. No matter where I go, or to whom I speak, things always come back to this topic. I can't escape it. 

 

"I have no husband,” I told him - truthfully. No need to get into my long, painful story with a stranger.

 

Then he said something that simply amazed me. I still find it hard to believe…

 

You may have never heard of Photini, but you know her story from John Chapter 4. This is the name the Eastern Orthodox church has given to the Samaritan woman at the well. The story of Photini is one of the longest stories in the Bible about a woman. And it’s the longest recorded conversation between Jesus and anyone - male or female. 

A misinterpreted story**

 

But like many women in the Bible, Phontini’s story is one that, I believe, has been gravely misunderstood. Too often she has been characterized as an adulterer, or at the least a sinful woman. To fully understand Photini, we must first recognize the layers of marginalization that impacted her life. Just imagine the discrimination she must have faced as a person of a shunned race. Samaritan women were considered perpetually unclean by the Jews. And likely, as a woman with no means of her own, who had to rely on men to survive, shame would have been her identity. 

 

Scholars have historically suggested that Photini was a woman of immoral character, originating from Jesus’ acknowledgement of her history of five marriages, and living with a man to whom she is not married. But this assumption may conflict with the history of Samaria at the time. Women were not given the rights to divorce, and if Photini had been divorced 5 times, it was likely because she was cast aside - perhaps she couldn’t conceive. 

 

It's more likely that her five marriages are recorded in Scripture to convey how hard her life had been. Perhaps she had outlived the lives of her husbands, potentially first becoming a wife when just a child. Photini would have needed to re-marry to survive in a culture that did not have a way for women to live independently of a man. Women were considered property. Even children were considered at a higher social status than women. And if she had no male relatives, continual re-marriage was her only choice.

 

Photini, the truth seeker

 

Yet here we see Photini engaging in the longest recorded conversation with Jesus. One where she was not a passive listener, but an engaged questioner and theological thinker. In the course of their conversation, we learn several things. Though we know Jews and Samaritans despised each other, this Samaritan made an impression on Jesus. So much so, Jesus’ most famous hero was the Good Samaritan. What we learn from this encounter is there is no barrier Jesus cannot cross to embrace a relationship with someone. He revealed himself to Photini and proved how well he knew her, and how he saw her as a truth seeker. 

 

Jesus gained Photini’s trust, and her life was radically changed. If you look closely at John chapter 4, Jesus never called her a sinner, and he never asked her to repent. Jesus focused His attention on her as a truth seeker. He saw her value and recognized her intelligence. Their conversation initiated her gifting and ministry as an evangelist and a missionary.

 

Questioning God

 

Jesus also accepted Photini’s direct questioning and borderline argumentative nature. She was smart, and Jesus happily engaged with her intellect. Their exchange models for us a way of talking with God that isn’t always accepted in the church - questioning and seeking God, arguing with God, and pressing God. Photini is a biblical model of a woman who does this and gives us permission to talk to God candidly, as seekers of answers and truth. We question - not always because of doubt - but because we have faith and because we want more faith. Jesus welcomed this! 

 

Theological thinker

 

Once Photini recognized Jesus as a prophet, she asked an important theological question regarding the marginalization of her people. She observed, “Our ancestors worshipped on this mountain, but you and your people say that it’s necessary to worship in Jerusalem.” 

 

Jesus then reframed her idea of worship and faith, and she responded confidently in verse 25: “I know that the Messiah is coming, the one who is called the Christ. When he comes, he will teach everything to us.” She paved the way for Jesus to reveal his identity to her. Once he did, she was enthralled with her revelation. Meanwhile, the disciples returned and silently watched the end of Jesus’ exchange with Photini. She left her water jar at the well, maybe because of excitement, or maybe to symbolize that she now has living water and is no longer in need of the well’s water. She ran back to her city and began her work of evangelizing.

 

A Credible Witness

 

When Photini returned to her community, they listened to her. Her ministry was to all of the people there. Both men and women heard her and were impacted by her ministry. She was bold and disruptive! Full of joy! She spoke publicly to the people of her city, and it was effective. The town’s response tells us she was not perceived as the village crazy lady, nor was she a shunned sinner. She was respected, because when she spoke, those that knew her listened and believed. She was a credible witness. The townspeople believed her enough to go and see Jesus for themselves. 

 

Photini’s life after meeting Jesus

 

What happened to Photini after meeting Jesus face-to-face? I did a little research, and come to find out, she continued to use the gift of evangelism she had been given. The Eastern Orthodox tradition regards Photini as equal to the apostles and praises her for her work in growing and strengthening the Early Church. 

 

We know some things about her life as an evangelist because of historical, oral storytelling (hagiography). Although not 100% accurate, Photini’s legacy is preserved to remind us of the importance of these women, who established and shaped the Early Church. 

 

Photini is recorded as being baptized by the disciples on Pentecost. This is where she was first given the name Photini, meaning “enlightened one”. After Photini was awakened to this new and glorious reality of life with Christ, she made it her mission to awaken others to this truth!  She started with her sisters, who were baptized as Christians. Somewhere along the line, maybe with the man she was connected to when she was talking to Jesus, Photini had two sons, and both of them became Christians. 

 

The family began their journey in Carthage, where one of Photini’s sons, a general for the Roman army, ended up converting the military commander in Carthage to Christianity. This enraged Emperor Nero, who had just begun his persecutions of Christians, including the murders of Peter and Paul. This evil tyrant wanted nothing more than to stamp out the Christian flame that was sweeping the world!

 

Nero summoned Photini and her family to Rome, and asked them if they were followers of Christ. When they answered in the affirmative, Nero ordered that they be beaten with iron rods until they denied Jesus. No matter how hard the soldiers tried, they could not break the bones or bring pain to this holy family!  

 

Nero figured if he couldn’t beat their faith out of them, he would change tactics! He sent Photini into a room full of gold to tempt her with wealth. When that didn’t work, he sent his own daughter, DomNINA, to turn Photini away from the faith. This attempt failed miserably, as DomNINA was then converted to Christianity.  

 

Nero had struck out again, and was overcome with rage over the conversion of his daughter. Over the course of the next 3 years, he tried an array of tortures to turn Photini and her family away from Christ. He threw them into a furnace for three days, but like Rack, Shack, and Benny, they came out unharmed. His magicians concocted a poison for Photini and her family to drink. But after making the sign of the cross over the potion, Photini drank it with no ill effects.  

 

After he couldn’t harm them, Nero threw them all into prison, and even that backfired! People who heard of the trials this family had gone through for Christ’s sake, saw Photini in the prison, and they, too, were converted! Eventually, Emperor Nero took Photini out of the prison and threw her into a WELL.

 

In reflecting on the last few days of Photini’s life, I have to imagine that she was delighted. She spent her last days on earth in a well, where her life really began all those years before with a simple conversation with Christ. She was able to remember that day that she had received the Life-Giving Water.   

 

Relevance of Photini’s story for us today

 

What a great story. Jesus chose to reveal Himself to a marginalized woman and gave her the gift of evangelism. He chose the most unlikely of people, a Samaritan woman, to reveal Himself to first. Jesus recognized the bold, curious, smart woman Photini was. She was trusted by her people and chosen by God. And as a result, like John read from 2^nd Timothy earlier, Photini fought the good fight. She finished the race and kept the faith. 

 

In the narrative of the upside-down kingdom of God, this should not surprise us, but remind us of how God works and moves among people. Perhaps He is calling you, too - calling you to celebrate Mother’s Day by celebrating the Mother of Evangelists, to heed the calling of Christ to go and make disciples, to tell everyone you know about the Savior we love, and to boldly proclaim Christ came for all. 

 

Amen. And Amen. 

**See Know Your Mothers for this original text and more about egalitarian views on women.