I’ve spent the last couple of weeks reflecting and remembering so many events, conversations, and milestones while at FMC. So, in true David Letterman fashion, I wanted to give you my Top Ten Moments During my Tenure at FMC-Shreveport! Some are long. Some are short. But I hope you enjoy this as much I did walking down memory lane!
#10: Graduating with a DMIN – Partnership = Faithful Friendship
In 2016, I graduated with a Doctor of Ministry in Leadership and Global Perspective from George Fox Evangelical Seminary, having studied in London, CapeTown and Hong Kong. Through it all, and writing the most wonderful dissertation – Mind the Gap: Navigating the Pitfalls of Cross-Cultural Partnership – I learned one very important lesson:
Global Mission partnership means so much more to me than just projects and checklist. Partnership, for me, equals friendship and companionship. It means abiding with Christ and being in such close communion with Him that our relationships with people are extensions of His love for us. It means lavishing our partners (friends) with love so they can live into their callings to make disciples and transform the world. It means creating family thru love that binds us together and being an instrument of connection in the body of Christ.
Henri Nouwen said it best: “Dare to love and be a real friend. The love you give and receive is a reality that will lead you closer and closer to God, as well as to those whom God has given you to love.”
#9: Learning the Ministry of Presence
The number one question I have been asked over the years about going on a “mission trip” is “so what are we going to DO?”
We began our vision for missions in 2013 with a goal of moving away from transactional mission to focus on transformational mission. That simply meant we were moving away from doing projects FOR people and instead living life WITH people. And isn’t that Biblical?
When I think of the stories of Jesus found in the Gospels, I think of Him sitting with friends and colleagues. We see Him eating, we see Him listening. We see Him being present with people. How often do we simply take the time to be fully present with those around us?
More and more our mission ministry sought how to be like Jesus and how best to love and care for the missionaries we support. We wanted to walk alongside them, so they know they are not alone in their ministries. We wanted to share meals and encourage their hearts. We wanted to listen to their stories, cry with them thru their difficulties, and lavish love upon them.
And so, we committed to visiting our global mission partners at least once a year, and each of those visits looked different. Sometimes it involved small group leader training. Sometimes we organized a retreat for the leaders to take a break and learn from each other. Other times, we simply sat to be together, sharing meals and stories.
I believe the most important gift that we can give is the benefaction of our presence. It is an unforgettable gift when we are lovingly and emotionally present to others in the now of life. Yes, we love being able to support our partners with monetary funds, but we wanted more than that. The gift of presence to those whom we love does not bend or break our finances…but it does require connecting with our feelings and our emotions. It demands intentionality, the burning of psychic energy and seeing with the heart. The ministry of presence is a way of “being” rather than a way of “doing” or “telling.”
Henri Nouwen, again, wrote these wise words:
More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.
#8: Preaching my first sermon at FMC
Being the first female to preach in our Traditional Service had me shaking in my heels. And I’m forever thankful to Dr. Day for that honor and privilege. And because I enjoyed it so much, and because you may or may not have been there… here is the synopsis:
One of my favorite words I learned during the time I was studying in South Africa was sawubona. Sawubona. It means “I see you.”
I see you.
You are important to me.
I value you.
This word promotes the need to see each other slowly and as you are. It looks for moments to maintain eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Those who speak this word have learned how to feel and listen to other people, how to embrace another person’s soul, how to find and heal each other’s dark corners and wounds.
When I think of the word sawubona, I think of Jesus. He looked deep into the eyes of another and said, “I see you.”
Remember the woman at the well in John chapter 4?
He said to the woman,
“Despite where you live, despite your life circumstances, despite your gender, I see you. I value you. You are important to me.”
She didn’t expect this. She didn’t see this coming. But her encounter with Jesus changed her forever.
This reminded me of my first encounter with Jesus.
When I was 8 years old, I had a direct encounter with Christ. Now I wasn’t quite comparable to the Samaritan woman at age 8, but I did already have my own story. I had been sick for most of my life up to that point, in and out of doctors’ offices, and no one could figure out what was wrong. All of the doctors just assumed that I wanted attention.
One day, I stayed home from school because I felt so badly. My mom took me to the doctor, and they immediately rushed me to the hospital. There was a series of tests. And I don’t remember much, but I remember being scared. I was terrified. The machines were cold and loud, and my parents couldn’t come with me. I was lying in the CT scan, latched on to my stuffed bunny, and I started humming “Jesus Loves Me.” It’s a song that I had sung hundreds of times at church and with my grandparents.
It was in that moment,
a still quiet peace overcame me.
I didn’t feel alone.
When I closed my eyes, I could see someone cuddling me, loving me.
Great things were ahead.
I was rushed to surgery the next morning, and I remember my mom and dad trying to hold it together as they wheeled me away. I remember being in the operating room, lying on the table, the nurses and the doctors being so kind, and again that quiet voice saying, I see you. I love you. I am with you. There are great things ahead of you.
As an eight-year-old, I didn’t expect Christ to show up. I didn’t understand what was going on, but He did. And my life since has never been the same. Of course, there have been ups and downs, disappointments and heartache. But the main theme running through my life is that still, quiet voice from my first encounter with Jesus – I see you. I am with you. I value you.
And to Him, when I hear Him say sawubona, I respond with that traditional Zulu response - ngikhona
(IN-GEE-KHONA) – which means:
I am here.
I am fully present with you.
I bring all of who I am to this place and to this moment.
You abide in me and I abide in You.
Yes, Jesus, I see You. I value You. I love You. I commit my life to You.
And that’s the synopsis of my first sermon at FMC.
#7: Podcasts
Preaching hasn’t always been my forte, but I do love to teach. Podcasts became a way for me to be able to teach, even when Covid was keeping us apart.
o Conversations about Jesus with Samuel Zepeda… We did 44!
o How Can I Keep from Singing with Dr. David Hobson… We did 12 of those!
o The Broken Banquet … the number two podcast in New Zealand!
#6: Moments around the Dinner Table with the Global Mission Family
Something you may not know about me – I love to cook. And my favorite place in my house is around the dinner table. When we first began gathering as a global mission committee, I knew we had to embody what we were hoping to create all around the world. So naturally, we held every meeting at my dinner table!
Tables are the place for human connection. We’re often most fully alive when sharing a meal around the table. And God certainly has a way of showing up at tables. The table of Passover. The table of Communion. NT Wright, my other favorite theologian, wrote: “When Jesus himself wanted to explain to His disciples what His forthcoming death was all about, He didn’t give them a theory, He gave them a meal.”
I’m convinced that one of the most important spiritual disciplines for us is gathering around the dinner table, as it truly is a place for hospitality, connection, and reconciliation. It was around the table that our Global Mission Committee became the Global Mission Family.
#5: The Italy Retreat
Speaking of dinner tables. In July 2022, Vicki, Eric, and I packed our bags and went to Tuscany, Italy. There we met most of our global mission families. It was something I had been dreaming of for YEARS – to have all of our partners in one place at one time, for them to connect while we poured into them. I will never forget the very first night as we sat outside for our three-course meal at a long dinner table. The sun was setting, and I looked around the table – the laughter, the smiles, the conversations, the different languages. The veil between heaven and earth had never been so thin. Yes, this was my vision for the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth. And as the week came to a close, we began to reflect.
My friend, Jeremy Boone in Uganda, wrote this:
There are times in life when you don’t know what you need until you have it. Thankfully, we have a faithful Father who always knows our needs and works all things together for our good and His purposes. The last week in Italy has been one of those moments when God revealed our needs and met them abundantly. The gift of Italy has been truly magical, something we would have never asked of God and been unlikely to pursue. And while beholding Michelangelo’s David and the Sistine Chapel was both unforgettable and awe-inspiring, it was the time in community with like-minded brothers and sisters in faith that quenched a soul-thirst for deeper things. Between walking the streets of Florence, Rome, Sienna, and Cinque Terra in the brutal heat, there were refreshing moments of Christian fellowship with people who seemed to know us even though they had not met us face-to-face. Time with God’s people, and other missionaries, debriefing the challenges and joys of mission, knit our hearts together in a way that will no doubt be enduring. For us, our time with this community is just the beginning of a deeper relationship that we pray will encourage & resource us as individuals and missionaries to a greater cause for Jesus’ glory. Praise God for the blessings that flow from his heart toward us.
#4: Ordination in College Station
In my heart, I will always be a Quaker. (Did you know I grew up in the Quaker faith?!) It’s who I am. It’s a large part of my identity and core principles. And they’re the people who raised me. You can’t take the Quaker SPICE out of this gal! But did you know… I was baptized in the Methodist church in South Carolina in 1980. And I faithfully served at Herndon UMC in Virginia. And for nearly ten years, I served at First UNITED Methodist Church of Shreveport… My designation for nearly all of those years was “other fellowship”, which meant I was a Quaker pastor on loan to the United Methodist Church.
Over time, I felt God nudging me toward a deeper commitment to the people called Methodists. And so… on July 22, 2023, in College Station, I was ordained a Deacon and Elder in the Global Methodist Church. It was a beautifully special moment to be surrounded by people I love – mentors and friends alike-- including Dr. Pat Day, Dr. Jonathan Beck, Rev. Derek Joyce, Dr. Steven Bell, and my sweet husband. Chris’s kids surprised me and flew in, and so many from our great church made the trip.
On the drive home from College Station, I told Christopher, “I feel like I truly belong with the Global Methodists.” For that, I give thanks to God and thanks to you, friends.
#3: It’s a three-way tie between….
· Jay Sawyer giving me a key to the church building…after 8 years of serving at this church. (I had to earn it!)
· Numerous trips with hundreds of members of our church all over the world – including 20+ trips to Haiti, 3 trips to the South Pacific, 10 trips to Africa, 8 trips to Russia (including that one where my nose hairs froze because it was -27 everyday), 3 trips to the Holy Land (those may have been the best!), 5 trips to Ecuador, 12 trips to Costa Rica….
· And random illnesses and broken bones all over the world. Not many people can say they’ve had Cholera, Giardia twice, Zika, and an infection caused by elephant dung! I’ll never forget coming back from Africa, ending up in the ER, and being guarding by security because they thought for sure I had ebola!
These last two moments are perhaps the two that mean the most to me:
#2: The Cancer Year
Steven came in January 2021, and promptly left again in May 2021! And while I missed him terribly… To be honest, I loved that summer. I loved preaching my first ever sermon series. I loved delving into Henri Nouwen’s book – Life of the Beloved. I loved going to all the meetings, and making a lot of decisions with Jay Sawyer. I loved hiring Dr. Mandy Storer to direct First Beginnings and Rev. Stephanie Kidd as one of our Associate Pastors. I loved getting our Palabra Viva congregation off and running that summer. But all the while, I knew something wasn’t right in my body. The tests were numerous, and the waiting was excruciating. But thankfully, you, my faith family, rose to the occasion. You surrounded me with your unconditional love and support. You fed our souls with your encouragement and your presence, and you fed our bodies so I wouldn’t have to think about what’s for dinner. And it just kept coming for the months and the months following surgery. I’ve never felt so special, so loved, and so cared for…
Well, except for…
#1: The Wedding
It was November of 2019. A fella named Christopher Harbuck got down on one knee at my Quaker Church in North Carolina and asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes! Now, I thought I’d simply have a quiet little wedding with Chris, his two kids, and Pat Day in the Dilworth Prayer Chapel and call it a day. No need for fanfare. But no…. Oh no… The Ladies, and the Men, of First Methodist Church were not going to let that happen. This was something to celebrate. And while I protested for a while, even insisting on a 11:00am wedding on a Friday in January, I eventually said “yes”.
And I can honestly say, without a doubt or exaggeration, I have never been blessed more. From the gals who took me wedding dress shopping, to the home-made chocolates for the reception… From the insistence on a cake at least for photos, to flowers upon flowers filling the sanctuary… From the 496 people who really did show up on that Friday at 11:00am… Friends, Seekers, YOU blessed me beyond measure, and that is something I will never forget.
My treasures are most definitely not things; my treasure is YOU, my relationships with YOU. To say these nearly 11 years have been an honor and a privilege would be an understatement. You have taught me, you have molded me, you have challenged me, and you have blessed me. I love you. And this is most definitely not the end of our story.
