Best Day in Ministry

My former youth pastor asked me to write about my “best day in youth ministry” as part of a series of posts on his blog. Of course I jumped at the chance. After all, it’s easy to write about the best days, right? …

Until I sat down at a computer, however, I had no idea how hard of a task it would be! Just one day? My best day? How can I possibly narrow it down? I have served three amazing churches – Pine Hill Friends Meeting (NC), ChristChurch Presbyterian (TX), and Herndon UMC (VA) – and at each church, God blessed me more and more.

Thus, in the spirit of a Carl Jones blog, here is a tribute to my top ten days in youth ministry, in no particular order!

10.  HUMC Louisiana Mission Trip, June 2010

“Out of Chaos, Hope.” Flying from DC to New Orleans with a group of 30+ teenagers. Sleeping in “pods” designed by the Canadian army to hold heat IN. Working with a bunch of Presbyterians on disaster relief. Performing the “Box of Sin” skit for the first time. Taking a group of teenagers to Bourbon Street. Eating beignets at Café du Monde. These are the weeks youth pastors dream about. Making memories and solidifying relationships…all while loving God and serving others.

9. Any given Monday morning at 6:30am in 2003 & 2004…

The Pine Hill kids would meet me before school in the Fellowship Hall, where I would have a homemade breakfast cooking! While we were eating, we’d write prayer requests for the week on our designated page in the Youth Group Prayer Journal. One kiddo would then take the journal home and pray over us the whole week. These mornings were priceless, and I will cherish them forever. The youth group that prays together stays together!

CCP Mission Trip, Newport, TN

8. Thursday Night of CCP Mission Trips, 2005, 2006, 2007 & 2008

Our group loved working with Youthworks! Every Thursday night, to end the week of serving the community, we would gather for a final worship service and footwashing. The Youthworks staff would wash the adult leaders’ feet, and the adult leaders would then wash the feet of the youth and pray over them specifically. Kiah Townsend & Todd Horst, male chaperones extraordinaire, and I did this for four consecutive summers. God worked miracles on those nights. Tears, vulnerability, closeness, love and forgiveness… He taught us so much on those nights.

HUMC "Bible Study" Meeting

7. HUMC Monday Bible Studies, 2009 & 2010

If any of my HUMC youth read this, they will immediately laugh. Rarely did the Bible get studied during these Monday afternoon session. However, for a year and a half, this was the afternoon I looked forward to every week. Sitting around the table. Playing Phase 10. Talking relationship problems. Writing letters to Moises, our Compassion-sponsored child. Sneaking out for smoothies. As Carl would say, youth ministry is all about relationships, relationships, relationships, and this was our bonding time.

6. Campfire Sunday, Pine Hill Friends Meeting, 2004

Because two of my best friends were serving as youth pastors, we often had our groups gather for various events – lock-ins, trips to Carowinds & DisneyWorld, and an occasional PIG tournament. This Sunday, we invited the groups up to Ararat, NC. The bonfire was built, a band joined us to lead outdoor worship, hot dogs were roasted & s’mores were made… God was present, and I didn’t stop smiling for days.

1st CCP Beach Retreat

5. CCP Dr. Seuss Beach Retreat, June 2007

The Sneetches. The Lorax. Yertle the Turtle. Horton Hears a Who. Who better than Dr. Seuss to turn teenagers back into children and talk about the tough issues?! Combine this with a beautiful beach house, The Seabiscuit, an Iron Chef competition with mushrooms as the theme ingredient, strategic tanning and a sandcastle building contest the likes of which you have never seen… It was a week to never forget…and one we recreated each summer and winter thereafter.

4. Goin’ Bananas For Jesus, HUMC College Mission Trip, May 2010

Words cannot adequately describe this amazing week in Costa Rica. Sure there were challenges – lost passport, key team member arriving late due to said lost passport, running out of gas on the side of a dark mountain, and more monkeys than people. But our nightly devotions were based on the Fruit of the Spirit, and God worked overtime to create a loving atmosphere and friendships that turned into family.

CCP Youth in Matamoros, Mexico

3. Mission Trip to Mexico with ChristChurch Presbyterian, June 2006

I had been going to Matamoros, Mexico for years with North Carolina Yearly Meeting. Living and serving in Houston, TX, I could not wait to take the CCP Youth to meet Pastor Jorge Reyes and lead VBS. The kids, used to assisting with VBS at their home church, planned the entire event themselves – Bible stories, songs, games, crafts. As a youth pastor, I have never been so proud of a group.

2. Interns

Is there anything better in ministry than interns? When you Google “best interns,” you will find the pictures and bios of Claire Sparks (CCP, 2007 & 2008) and Sean Devolites (HUMC, 2010). They embodied servant leadership, their hearts were full of love for the youth they empowered, and on a daily basis, they made my life easier. They were youth who turned into interns who turned into colleagues who turned into friends. Again, how lucky am I?

 Interns Claire (left) and Sean (right).

1. Phone Calls, Text Messages, Office Chats and Skype Sessions

Though I’m not in youth ministry professionally anymore, not a day goes by that I do not hear from several students. So many have grown up, graduated high school and college, and many of them I consider amongst my closest friends. I cannot tell you how much that warms my heart. God knew exactly where to place me. He fostered the relationships, and allows us to continue to grow together and grow toward Him. It really is the best JOB in the world filled with too many “best days” to count!

Interns

     First off...a note...  We FINALLY had our shutters installed yesterday! Yes, it was the best Valentine's Day to date! There was no street light coming in on my pillow last night, no early morning sunrise laser beam hitting me in the eye this morning. Ahhh.... I am so very thankful for shutters!
  
     Yesterday, while we were getting our shutters installed, I continued my trip down memory lane. Thinking of Costa Rica naturally made me think of Sean, the super intern, and as I thought of Sean, I was flooded with thoughts of the other best intern in the world, Claire.
     As a youth pastor, you have the opportunity of working with all types of kids. Some are shy, some have the personalities of a talk show host! Others are brainiacs, and some require hand-holding. There are the loud ones, the quiet ones, the athletes and the drama queens. And then there are the special kids, the ones that tug at your heart each and every day and remind you why being a youth pastor is the best job in the world.

Sean Devolites and Claire Sparks are two of those people. 

     I first met Claire in December 2004. She was a sophomore in high school then, and now she's finishing her senior year at Lewis and Clark College in Portland. During her high school years, she was quiet and ended up spending her junior year in Europe. When she returned her senior year, we really began to bond. She was always at Donuts & Devos, and Sunday afternoon youth group. She was a leader on mission trips and the historic beach retreats. One Sunday afternoon at the Texas Rock Gym, we were enjoying a snack and I asked her what her summer plans were. Nothing was firm, and I asked her to consider being my summer intern. It was the best question I had ever asked a senior in high school.

With Claire in St. Petersburg, Florida

     Claire started the summer, and I quickly realized that I didn't know how I ever did ministry without her. That first summer, I was prepping for my first ever Living Waters trip. Claire ordered all of my supplies, completely packed the bags to appropriate weight, and had me organized and ready to go. Not only that, but she had plans for the youth group while I was away, and I knew youth ministry would not stop with me out of the country. On our youth mission trip to Tennessee that summer, she was my sanity, as we had one little darling who decided not to be a "perfect" youth group member that week. (All CCP folks who are reading this will cringe with the memories!) She even took on solely teaching the Sudanese Sunday school class...as she was supposed to be teaching with another pastor, and he bailed! Claire needed no direction; she had enough initiative for the both of us. She was dependable, encouraging, creative, and I loved her so much that I begged her to intern a second summer. She agreed, and while I pushed her a bit outside of her box (think teaching the Book of Job to a group of senior citizens!), she handled it with poise! Claire even took the "Box of Sin" skit and turned it into "The Box of Sin: Remastered!"
     Claire has since become one of my best friends. We experienced Haiti for the first time together. We cried and laughed and depended on each other. She was even our first visitor in Vegas, as she spent Thanksgiving with us! As I looked through my pictures, there are so many of me and Claire together that I could hardly choose just one! However, the one above is the picture that Claire framed for me when she returned back to school after that second summer of interning. That picture frame has been placed prominently in my office and now my house, and I will never be thankful enough for the friendship of Claire.

With Sean in Raleigh, NC

     Which brings me to Sean, the super intern! Sean grew up at Herndon UMC, and I would go as far to say that he is the golden child of the church! The church family surrounds him, encourages him, and loves him like no one I have ever seen. With the flash of a smile, the young man can raise enough money to send an entire youth group on an international mission trip! My first week at HUMC was actually the Senior High Mission Trip week. Talk about being thrown into the fire...!! It was an absolute blessing-filled week. Sean jumped into my van for the ride to Maryland, and an instant bond was formed. Though he was in college, he was along as a chaperone and spiritual leader for the youth. His wisdom amazed me, and the way the youth flocked to him for advice, leadership and friendship amazed me. Throughout the rest of the summer, he was around for service projects and card games and movies. He was an inspiration and encouragement to me and made me feel immediately at home.
     We first started talking about a summer internship during the fall. I could already see that Sean will be a natural pastor; the boy can preach like none other. He came back to lead youth group several times throughout the year. When we sat down to start planning for the summer, we quickly saw that we were going to die with the amount of activities. His internship would kick off with a mission trip to Mexico, followed by a Senior High Lock-out, a Senior High Mission Trip to Louisiana would follow two days after high school graduation, and then a Summer of Service would kick-off...and Vacation Bible School. Oh wait, then the Junior High Mission Trip...and finally Upward Basketball Camp! I am getting tired just thinking about it... I don't know how in the world we survived it!
     Poor Sean took everything I threw at him with a grain of salt. He preached, he led, he organized, he lost his passport (see yesterday's post), he took the jobs that no one else wanted, and he served.  While the rest of us flew to New Orleans, he rode in a truck all the way to and from Louisiana, just to ensure our tools and luggage arrived in one piece. He even sat with me in the emergency room for hours as I tried to pass a kidney stone!
     I can still hear Sean's voice saying, "Ashleeeey!" He's a great brother, a best friend, a confidant and a ministry partner. It would not be an understatement to say the he taught me much more than I taught him.

     I am so completely blessed and thankful for Claire and Sean. My ministry is deeper because of what they taught me. I am thankful for not only their friendship, but for becoming part of my family. In their own individual ways, they are two of the best ministers I know.

Going Bananas For Jesus

For whatever reason, I have kept a journal of all of my mission trips and end up ranking them in the order of most influential in my life. There have been numerous trips to Mexico, several domestic trips, and gorgeous trips all through the Caribbean and Central America. Number one was steady at the top since April 2002.  This was when I went to Honduras with a group of Baptist Men from North Carolina, and on the way back home, I met my husband! I mean, how much more influential can you get than that? Thus, even the best of trips have ranked at number two and three... 


I was reminded yesterday of trip #2 on my list! My old youth pastor tweeted this yesterday...

"Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness & Self-Control. The fruit of the Spirit is not a banana..."

(Be sure to check out his blog! You can also follow him on Twitter at @YouthGuy07)

This tweet took me back to last May when I went with a group of college students from Herndon United Methodist Church to Costa Rica. This was my second trip to Costa Rica, as I had just been with a group of adults from HUMC that March. Our trip was sponsored by Costa Rica Mission Projects and the Wil Bailey, whom I dearly admire despite his choice of seminary! 


Before the trip, I was so excited to go to Costa Rica for so many reasons...


1 - I came into HUMC in June of 2009. I spent most of that summer on a mission trips, VBS, Upward Basketball Camp and trying to get to know the junior high and high school students that I would be working with daily. Thus, I had managed to let the college students slip by and really hadn't gotten to know them as well as I should have. I had tried college visits throughout the year, but unfortunately had not made it to see everyone... This trip would be a building block to great college ministry! (...and then we moved!)

Day One of the trip.... Check out those awesome t-shirts.

2 - As I said before, I had participated with a group of adults in Costa Rica in March. It was a trip that would rank in the top five, and I could not wait to go back to Costa Rica. I had made plans for our college group to visit the site where our adults had worked... It was a part of my plan to build the bridges between the generations of our church and show a common interest!


3 - We were going to go to the beach! While we had gone to a fabulous volcano in March, I was stoked to see a Costa Rican beach!


4 - Our theme for the week was "Goin' Bananas For Jesus!" How can you not get excited about that?! I had made up a prayer journal for the week that included a devotion each day on one of the fruits of the spirit! Genius, right? The t-shirts were even better! (Thanks, Kylee Horstman!) 


The pre-trip events turned into somewhat of a nightmare. Copa Airlines cancelled our flight reservations with no reason. (Thankfully, we were able to book flights again...) One of the key members of our group lost his passport the night before we were to leave, and we left him tearfully at the airport in DC. Things were not getting off to a good start...BUT...God always has a way of turning unexpected misfortunes into greatness.

From the moment we arrived in Costa Rica, it was pure joy. We were in the hands of Daniel, the greatest driver in all of Costa Rica. The sights were as beautiful as they had been in March. Our devotion time each evening consisted of deep, vulnerable, open sharing...thanks to the fruit of the spirit! The work each day was FUN, and even though we didn't have a coffee pot, Papa Hugo made us coffee each morning in the pouch! Without the "usual leadership" of our lost team member, other students stepped up to be leaders and fill the various roles of our team. Midweek, Sean, the super intern, made it to Costa Rica after finding his passport. The friendships made and the bonds formed were so tight that only God could have weaved us together in such a short time. Even when our bus broke down on the curvy side of the mountain in the dark, we knew that everything would be OK! God was with us.

The attacking monkey...

And then came Friday... Friday will go down as one of the best days of my LIFE. We had finished our work for the week and made the trip back to San Isidro. We woke up bright and early and drove to the coast. Daniel drove us to Manuel Antonio National Park. We were assured to see monkeys...and monkeys we did see. The beach was gorgeous, and we found a perfect spot on what I would call a cove. The kids went in the ocean, we played, and then we left for lunch... This was, by far, the best lunch I have ever had, and the culmination to a beautiful week. At dinner that evening, we stopped at a local restaurant, which just happened to be the restaurant we stopped at on our last night in Costa Rica in March. It was perfect.


After a week like this, how could you not be "Goin' Bananas For Jesus!" God showed himself to us through the friendship and compassion of each other and those that we worked alongside in Costa Rica. He showed himself in the beauty that was all around us. There was love. There was pure joy. My heart felt at peace through the kindness and goodness that was shown by everyone on our team. 


While I won't be with the college team going back to Costa Rica this year, I will still be Goin' Bananas for Jesus, and praying them through the week and hoping that their hearts will be open to HIM as much as they were in the last year. For this group of young adults, I am so very thankful. 

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Fingerprinting

The Hogans filled me with encouragement and sent me off with a hugs and good luck wishes after breakfast. It left me with a smile on my face for the day ahead. I was so thankful to have spent time with the family. It was exactly what I needed, and I miss them already!

The board interview went superbly. After yesterday's inquisition, this was a breeze! I mainly sat, listened, and responded when necessary. When the Chaplain patted me on the back and said, "Welcome to the Navy," I took it as a good sign! I was very thankful to have spent time with him and learn from his years of service. 

My recruiter took me to another base to finish processing my paperwork/packet and security clearance. To top it off, I got to play with ink! Yes, after three full tries, I gave a good set of fingerprints, smudge-free! I mean really...have you ever been fingerprinted? It requires intense concentration to "let the ink do the work", not to press too hard, and lift without smudging. Who knew?! 

The next steps should be far easier and quicker than the methodical, slow steps over the last several months. Without putting the cart before the horse, I am so thankful and excited that this dream is becoming a reality... It looks to be "smudge-free!"

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

San Diego

Today has been full of thanksgiving! It was an early morning, yet again, with an amazing sunrise on the way to San Diego. This trip served two big purposes. The first was to meet with my Navy recruiters and have a big interview. The second was to spend time with one of my favorite families from northern Virginia! It has been a spectacular day!

When I pulled up to the pizza restaurant for lunch and four beautiful kids came running up, I was completely filled with joy and gratitude. I love the Hogan Family so much and they made today perfect! We went to the beach, raced to the ocean and chased sea gulls! We ate ice cream, watched the waves and searched for bathrooms! There were magic tricks and fun stories. There was catching up and lots of laughter. Ah! Could it have been a more perfect day with wonderful people? I really don't think so!

Ah yes, life is good, God is great, and I am so thankful for a day full of love in beautiful San Diego!

Catching Up...

With the atrocious amount of writing required of my classes, I have fallen behind on the Thanksgiving Project! Many thanks to the beautifully observant Carrie Delisio for pointing this out to me!

Thus... this will be the "yesterday" post, and I will write today's thanksgiving later today.

Many things brought an attitude of gratitude today...

First, I have finally caught up with all of my classes. 500 pages of reading, check. 6 400-word essays written, check. Approval for one research paper and one project, check. I was slightly overwhelmed by the amount of work that so quickly piled up after just a few days in Haiti. Now, I feel caught up, and I am so thankful to have found a routine to balance my studies and other responsibilities.

Second, as you know, I am a huge Tar Heel fan. UNC fell behind by 14 points early on in the Miami game last night. It looked as though we were doomed, as the baby blue boys usually give up. Last night, they fought and clawed their way back to a tied game as halftime sounded. They caught up, and it was beautiful. They came out blazing in the second half and won the game. Between the Florida/Georgia game the night before and the UNC/Miami game, my basketball need has been met!

Third, I am thankful for time with my husband. We were able to catch up and share a bonding moment over my chaplaincy recommendation! (Who knew he would have to write something, too?!)

Finally, I am thankful for the upcoming weekend! Not only will there be a trip to Nashville for a Living Waters Retreat, but upon my return one of my most favorite families will be in San Diego! I plan to hop over to see them....AND meet with the Naval Chaplain Board for my final interview! Oh, it will be a good weekend.

Thus, thank you, Carrie Delisio, for reminding me to be thankful...each and every day! You should have a post dedicated to YOU :)

Visitors

In the last two days, I have read over 330 pages about the Intertestamental Period... My eyes are bugging out, and I can barely form two sentences after writing my "responses." Thankfully, the routine of schoolwork is coming back and it's starting to feel comfortable, as opposed to overwhelming. Give it another week, and it may feel enjoyable!

The best thing about living in Las Vegas is the constant revolving door of visitors. We've barely lived here for three months, and already we've had more friends visit than we ever did in Houston or DC. Last Thursday, I met a dear friend for lunch at the Venetian. It was a bit weird going to an extravagant display of wealth and resources after returning from Haiti, but this same friend was with me for a week after March's Haiti trip. I was thankful to have a time of debriefing with him on Thursday, just like I did last March.

I was thankful today for a study break that came in the form of a visitor! It is amazing to me that we lived in the same town for two years and always had great intentions of getting together to talk and share a drink! However, it took me moving across the country to make that intention a reality.

So again, I am thankful for friends, thankful for visitors, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of several more over the next months!

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.  ~Plautus

Breakfast with Friends

Written January 19, 2011 on a plane somewhere over Iowa...

Is there anything better than sharing a meal with a friend? Two people, sitting across a table from each other, enjoying good food and great friendship. Over the last few weeks, I have shared many of these meals...and I feel so very lucky to have done so.

Thus, I am thankful today for an early morning breakfast with my dear friend. I am thankful for blueberry pancakes and yogurt crepes, for listening and honesty, for debriefing and laughter. It is rare to find such friends that you share so much in common, but after a week in Haiti, I feel fortunate to have several of these friends... Friends to share joy and laughter. Friends to cheat at cards and act silly. Friends that can lay it all out on the line and not feel the least embarrassed. I am one very lucky gal, and so very thankful.

#13

This episode is brought to you by the number 13!

My favorite number is 13. I love Friday the 13th. When I played basketball as a kid, I wore the number 13.  I've turned the unluckiest number into my good luck charm.

Originally, we were supposed to have 14 team members going to Blanket, Haiti. However, one member had something come up, and now we will be traveling with 13. When this happened, nothing but good things began to happen. Green Energy scheduled the solar panel installation; our circuit rider checked in and went to visit our site to begin set-up; the elections were postponed. All of this after we became a team of 13. A coincidence, I think not.

This afternoon, Elizabeth Block, Allison Fleig, Diana Grace and I went to watch a few boys play basketball.  We quickly noticed that our two boys (Brian Skinnell and Robert Arace), on opposite teams, were each wearing the number 13. We continuously yelled, "Go 13" during the entire game. Both number 13's had exceptional play time, especially on defense. I was thankful to watch the games, talk with the girls and see my favorite number 13 (both of them) out on the court!

It is no coincidence that my favorite Bible verse is found in the book of Philippians, chapter 4, verse 13. It reads, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." No matter the situation, no matter the place, no matter the things... I can do it with His strength. I am thankful for Him and for His encouragement and grace. Without Him, I am nothing.

In addition to the number 13, I am also thankful for two of the girls I mentioned in my blog yesterday -- Claire Harris and Jenna Hogan. Today in church, I had the blessing of sitting in between the two girls. We held hands, and Jenna and I took "notes" of the sermon together! Jenna later sent me an email saying, "I love you...and so does God!" I am so thankful for her words of wisdom!

Grace & Peace!

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13 

Upward Basketball

Last year, I fulfilled a dream by coaching Upward Basketball. I have always loved playing basketball and watching basketball, and I couldn't wait to bring that passion to a group of kids. Upward is a special program in that all players receive the same amount of playing time, devotions are given at each game and practice, and players of all ability levels are encouraged and affirmed. I was honored to coach nine fifth and sixth grade girls who I affectionately called The Cyclones! It was a great two months of weekly practices and eight Saturday games. While we weren't suppposed to keep track of scores and records...I have a hugely competitive nature and know we ended the season 6-2. We lost to the same team twice, which happened to be coached by a Duke alumnus... It pained me greatly! Coaching was the most rewarding experience, and I miss it this year so much!

Today was the first game day for Upward Basketball at Herndon UMC. I was so excited to be in town for the kick-off! Two of my former youth group members, Joel Hagstrom and Robert Arace, were coaching their very first game at 10:00am. I could not get over Joel's enthusiasm and superior coaching ability! Joel is a senior in high school coaching 1st & 2nd grade boys... It was epic. He is encouraging, positive and the players and parents love and respect him. I was in awe and so thankful to watch him coach and win his first game!

Next at 1:00pm, THE Claire Harris had her season debut! Claire is in third grade and has brand new basketball shoes! She did those shoes proud and was the high scorer and top rebounder on her team!! I was so thankful to watch her play, and catch up with her parents!

The final game I saw today (though there were twelve hours worth of games) starred THE Jenna Hogan! She happens to be the daughter of the aforementioned Duke grad! Jenna and I share an amazing bond and are very similar, especially when it comes to our faith in God! Jenna had an outstanding game and it was great to see how well she has grown as a player!

While watching Jenna's game, I ran into three former "Cyclones" and their parents, who were there watching their younger children play! My heart was filled with joy to see their smiling faces and to hear their kinds words. What an impact one season had on all of us.

The rest of the day was filled with friends and an abundant amount of hugs. It reminds me of the saying, "The miles may separate as time goes on, but the band between friends will remain forever strong." God has blessed me with great friends, most of which live across the country from me now. After today, I know that the connection will always be strong and God will continue to bless me with their friendship for years and years to come.

Thus, I am thankful today for Upward Basketball bringing us all back together under one roof. What a great day it was!

Three F's - Faith, Friends & Family

On the airplane to northern Virginia today, I finished reading a book named "How Lucky Can You Be?!" It was a beautiful book about Coach Don Meyer. When he accepted the Jimmy V award for excellence at the Espys, he said the three most important things in his life were the three F's -- Faith, Family & Friends.

I am so thankful for these three things, but tonight I will focus on just one of the three... Friends.

Beginning with stepping into baggage claim, I knew how lucky I was. I am so thankful for my friend Carrie Delisio. She and I became friends and then family after I moved to Virginia! We have spoken everyday since I left, whether by twitter, email, skype, or other forms of communication. She and Anne Block, another wonderful friend, met me at the airport, and the joyful screams began!

Tonight my dear friends, Sally & Harry Block, threw a party to welcome me back to Herndon. Beginning at six, the door continued to open and friend after friend arrived. I have never felt so loved and thankful for a group of people. To say I am lucky is an understatement. What an amazing day!!

There is so much more to say, but my eyelids are heavy and my heart is full. Thank God for friends who are family!